How To Scar Your Kids For Life: Make them watch Tiny Tim sing about global warming

Sunday Setlist #29

Here’s today’s set list of music at the Awakening Service at FCC.  This will be linked to Fred McKinnon’s blog where other worship bloggers post their setlists.  

Here’s what we did:

Let Everything That Has Breathe (oldie but a goodie)

As Long as I have You

Giving it all to You

Message: Is God Bigger than My Sin?

Communion

Hallelujah Jesus

Amazing Grace (My chains are gone)

Overflow (closing)

Watch What You Say

This is a passage that I don’t like.  What do you think of it?  Here it is (Matthew 12:36-37): Jesus said, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

How often have I spoken carelessly, hurting someone?  More often than I probably realize.  It’s like a tube of toothpaste.  Once it’s out it won’t go back in.  So watch what you say.

Primal Leadership

During my sabbatical I read the book “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman, who notes that, more often than other factors including organizational, environmental, and intellectual capacity, the leader’s emotional intelligence is key to his or her capacity to lead.

What is emotional intelligence?  In 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer defined it: “Emotional intelligence involves the ability to perceive accurately, appraise, and express emotion; the ability to access and/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; the ability to understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and the ability to regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”

Are pastors emotionally intelligent?  Far too many pastors graduate from seminary woefully unprepared for the emotional rigors of congregational ministry.  Ministers are expected to be on call 24 hours/day, be nice to everyone, and have salaries publicly reviewed by the congregation.  Add to this the other stressors frequently experienced by pastors, such as members who hold the minister responsible for their spiritual growth, unrealistic pastoral care expectations, conflict causing congregational polarization, competing expectations between generations, and constant meetings.  Is it any wonder so few pastors survive, much less thrive, in ministry?

Can you (or I!) develop pastoral intelligence?  According to Goleman, the key components of EI include: personal competencies (self-awareness and self-management) and social competencies (social awareness and relationship management).  Most ministers don’t fully understand the impact their emotions have upon them and, by association, the congregation they serve.  This includes me!

What can be done?  1) Start by reading the book; 2) Real-time, contextual feedback is valuable in helping ministers deal with their emotions; 3) ministers must accept their roles as change agents and must be trained as change catalysts; 4) Ministers must learn empathy.  This last one includes the ability to listen without interrupting, hear, and understand what is really being said without defending or responding (nonjudgmental presence).  The inability to empathize causes the minister to be perceived as aloof, disinterested, or overly objective as a leader.

How am I doing?  I’m not sure I want to know…plus I wouldn’t listen or appear to care anyway.  Just kidding!  I think I have improved but because I am more task-oriented than people-oriented I’m aware that I have to work on listening without jumping to conclusions or even responding.

Some quotes from the book:

Group members generally see the leader’s emotional reaction as the most valid response, and so model their own on it–particularly in an ambiguous situation, where various members react differently.  …upbeat moods boost cooperation, fairness, and business performance.  Laughter, in particular….  Of all emotional signals, smiles are the most contagious; they have an almost irresistible power to make others smile in return.  …The greater a leader’s skill at transmitting emotions, the more forcefully the emotions will spread.  …subtle expressions of emotion can have great impact.  …Both good and bad moods tend to perpetuate themselves, in part because they skew perceptions and memories: When people feel upbeat, they see the positive light in a situation and recall the good things about it, and when they feel bad, they focus on the downside.  …Anger or fear, then, may get a leader though the crisis of the day, but they are short-lived motivators.  …The artful use of humor typifies effective leadership.  The most effective leaders, then, use humor more freely, even when things are tense, sending positive messages that shift the underlying emotional tone of the interaction.

What can we learn from this?

Why Should Followers Respect a Leader?

Respect is a matter of leadership–not position, title or gender.  Gaining respect of others always begins with having respect for yourself.  Leaders whom the people respect don’t grab all the credit of a victory for themselves.  Leaders cannot help people experience success unless they have themselves been successful.  Weak leaders believe that their position or title DESERVES respect (entitlement!).  Strong leaders know they must earn it.  So I must constantly ask myself, “What am I relying on for my respect?”

Black Friday Secret

My mom, and often my wife and sister, have been huge Black Friday proponents.  I’m not sure that they saved that much money but there was something competitive in her that wanted to get the best deals…FIRST!  I have to admit that I have gotten a deal or two in my time on Black Friday that made it worthwhile.  But I’ve always been the beneficiary, not the aggressor who fights his way through the crowds for the prize. 

To read more about this I loved Heather’s post on Black Friday and all of the comments. 

But with computers I have found that there is so much money to be saved without getting up early or leaving my house.  And you don’t even have to wait until Friday!  That’s my secret.  My favorite place with the best deals? GO HERE NOW FOR GREAT DEALS

Prayer Is Not One Sided

Prayer is communicating with God in both directions.  He talks; we listen.  We talk; He listens.  Listening, however, should always take priority.  As we hear His leading, we must willingly and joyfully obey.

Henrietta and Merna Can’t Sing

I love Christian T.V.!  Such easy fodder…

What Does God’s Voice Sound Like?

How can we know when God is speaking to us?  Read John 10.

Jesus gave us some characteristics of the Shepherd’s voice:

1. It is a familiar voice.  So we’ll recognize when it’s God’s.
2. It’s personal.
3. It’s simple and nurturing…even in rebuke He wants what’s best for us.

To be completely sure:

1. Is it consistent with the Bible? 
2. Does it conflict with human logic? 
3. Does it stretch our faith?
4. Does it require change?

If the answer is “YES” to all four of those questions then it’s probably God!

T-Dog reads the Whole Bible (The Rick James Version!)

I like T-Dog…he has a sense of humor which some Christians clearly do not!